Within the U.S. military and several conservative regions, there’s been a wave of sickening anti-trans legislation. Twenty-two states have passed laws or policies banning gender-affirming care among minors. This affects 35.1 percent of transgender youth in our country, who are already at a heightened risk of substance abuse, bullying, and suicide. Life is hard enough without this sanctimonious smackdown from American Christian supremacists.
But what exactly is “gender-affirming care?” Expanding on the WHO’s definition, the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC) states that it “encompasses a range of psychological, behavioral, and medical interventions designed to support and affirm an individual’s gender identity.”
By that definition, gender-affirming care runs as rampant as fiery gonorrhea among my fellow cis-gendered Americans. I argue that while the term is typically reserved for the healthcare of transgender and non-binary folks, it can include any medically unnecessary procedure to appear more feminine or masculine.
Cis-gendered women, for example, regularly receive gender-affirming care in the form of breast augmentation, Kardashian ass implants, nose jobs, liposuction, vaginal reconstructive surgery after giving birth, and those lip and cheek fillers that give every LA woman the same damn face.
Botox, tooth veneers, face lifts, and other appearance enhancements run both ways among cis men and women, but if we accept that these are all designed to increase one’s attractiveness and youthfulness, these are borderline gender-affirming—particularly among women, whom the patriarchy still doesn’t allow to age.
And while cis-gendered men don’t get as many frivolous surgeries and procedures as women—again, because of patriarchy!—two types of manly pharmaceuticals are still quite popular in dude-bro society: steroids and Viagra.
Let’s recognize that many sad congressional Bible-thumpers take gender-affirming boner pills and still discriminate against the trans community. Being virile and having a rock-hard lightsaber is fundamental to American masculinity. Not only are these pills legal, but they are subsidized by you, me, and all American taxpayers. That’s right: the military spends $41.6 million annually on helping men avoid the hyper-gendered embarrassment of erectile dysfunction.
Look, it’s none of my business if Donald Trump snorts vitamin V to give Stormy Daniels a C- evening, that Mike Pence takes his little-blue communion to give Mother a missionary rogering, that Ted Cruz…ha, just kidding. We all know that no human woman—least of all his poor wife—sleeps with that bloviating fuck!
But why do these men insist on denying trans folks the power to shape their own bodies in the image of who they are? Virtually every prestigious medical professional group supports the self-determination of trans youth. The American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Nurses Association, the American Counseling Association, the American Society for Freedom from Outdated Social Constructs…ok, I made that last one up, but you get the picture.
Being against gender-affirming care is one of many hypocrisies within the GOP: the “patriots” who tried to overturn the 2020 election; the “pro-lifers” who support capital punishment; the “party of family values” who cut Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP); the “religious liberty” zealots who only recognize Christian doctrines.
So why do Republicans get their testes in a tangle when people don’t adhere to outmoded gender and sexual identities? Queer couples and drag queens don’t roll into evangelical churches and tell them how to add some sparkle to their boring Sunday services. Live and let live! There’s no reason to expend energy trying to suppress harmless differences between humans.
So here’s my modest proposal: if these backwater American states want to discriminate against trans people and deny them the healthcare they seek, Viagra-hungry congressmen should be forced to go flaccid as their Lord intended. It’s only natural, guys.