The Old Liar Who Cried “Election Fraud!”—And the Congressional Chumps Who Support Him

“So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have. Because we have won the state.”

Donald Trump urging Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensburger to overturn the state’s election results (January 2, 2021)

In this era of savage partisanship, an American ratfucker is born every day. Traditionally, dirty tricks to sway elections take the forms of voter suppression, gerrymandering, and batshit crazy lies about the opposition. Both political parties have participated in the past, but these days, the Republicans have enshrined these tactics as part of their survival strategy. Perhaps the most glaring offense is happening right now: 12 GOP senators have turned downright seditious in their attempt to cast doubt on the outcome of the 2020 presidential election. 

Tomorrow, rather than certifying the Electoral College results, this fools’ brigade will oppose Joe Biden’s clear victory (306 electoral votes to Donald Trump’s 232). This shameful subversion of democracy isn’t limited to the Senate: two-thirds of U.S. House Republicans already petitioned the Supreme Court to prevent Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin from casting electoral votes for Biden. 

It doesn’t matter that Biden won the popular vote by 7 million. It doesn’t matter that Trump has filed (and lost) over 50 lawsuits in 7 swing states to overturn the election—many of which were dismissed by judges he appointed! It doesn’t matter that Trump was recently caught red-handed asking the Georgia Secretary of State to commit a crime and “find 11,780 votes.” 

What the fuck, GOP? You claim to be the party of patriots and Christians, but you’re shitting all over the Constitution with impunity. You are showing yourselves to be spineless lackeys who would rather burn down the country than transfer executive power. 

Um, no, GOP

Who are these treasonous Trump chumps?

  • Ted Cruz (TX)
  • Ron Johnson (WI)
  • James Lankford (OK)
  • Marsha Blackburn (TN)
  • Mike Braun (IN)
  • Cynthia Lummis (WY)
  • Roger Marshall (KN)
  • Bill Hagerty (TN)
  • Tommy Tuberville (AL)
  • Josh Hawley (MO)
  • John Kennedy (LA)
  • Steve Daines (MT)

What’s strange is that most of these folks know better. Ok, Tommy Tuberville, who can’t name the three branches of government, might not know better. (One too many knocks to the head, I reckon.) But Ted Cruz, Mike Braun, and Josh Hawley, for example, graduated from Ivy League law schools. They may be despicable, but they’re not stupid.

And to anyone who thinks this is how politicians on both sides of the aisle behave, let’s examine the 2016 presidential election: President Barack Obama called Donald Trump to congratulate him on Wednesday, November 9—the day after the election. Trump had received 304 electoral votes to Hillary Clinton’s 227—less than Joe Biden’s margin of victory in 2020. 

We’ve all been dragged along Trump’s bullshit sore loser crusade for months now. Perhaps if Republican congressmen hadn’t wasted so much time with Trump’s dick in their mouths, they could have articulated a robust response to Covid-19—the greatest public health crisis in generations. Or, you know, without that dick in their mouths, they could have set a good example to their constituents and worn a goddamn mask.

I’ve gotten some pushback on social media for being divisive in the wake of the 2020 election. I know that some Republicans are good people. Hell, they were the first political party to endorse the Equal Rights Amendment in 1940! I also come from a Republican family, but most of them have reasonably abandoned the GOP as it’s gotten more racist and embraced a rapist, tax fraud, and liar as its top leader. At this point in history, it’s morally repugnant, irresponsible, and anti-American to embrace the GOP.

  • Republicans claim to be pro-life, but they support capital punishment, assault weapon ownership, and murderers like Kyle Rittenhouse.
  • They claim to be Christians, but they separate young immigrant children from their families.
  • They claim to be supportive of “law and order,” but they say nothing to defend the lives of unarmed Black citizens who die at the hands of police officers.
  • They claim to not be racist, but they embrace the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups.
  • They claim to be patriots, but again: a majority of the U.S. congressional Republicans are trying to overthrow the results of the 2020 presidential election and refusing a peaceful transfer of power.

There’s a reason the GOP is so old, so male, and so white. And there’s a reason they continue to cheat to win elections. Their views are unpopular. They know that they are a dying minority party. They must suppress voters of color and gerrymander their way into relevance.

Calling out the modern GOP isn’t divisive—it’s an ethical responsibility. They don’t respond to well-reasoned sober arguments. The time has passed for meeting this party halfway. They’ve spent years manufacturing a “Blue Scare”—telling their base that dangerous socialists are coming for their guns and will turn their children into sex slaves for George Soros. Trump merely took advantage of the lies FOX News and others have been telling for years—and turned the volume to 12.

Fuck you very much, Trump’s GOP

In reality, progressives like me are just trying to create a more livable society with affordable healthcare and education, strong environmental protections, and a tax structure where the wealthy pays their fair share.

What part of this is unreasonable?

Welcome, fans and hecklers!