“Rusty, this is disgusting! You have at least fifteen discrete bottles of lube lining your bedside table. Aren’t any of your tricks grossed out?”
“Get off it, tranny. You’re just jealous that I’m getting some.”
“No seriously. You have scores of half empty containers just sitting there like some sick shrine to asses past. Does anyone ever really roll up to your bedroom after events and say, ‘Aw, hell no, Astroglide? There is no way I’d let you butter up my cheeks with some of that slop. Only Wet Platinum for me, baby.’”
“I just don’t want to be Shanghaied with some KY when the evening calls for Maximus, if you know what I mean.”
“You are nasty. Just speaking with you makes me want to take a long, hot shower. And that’s not an invitation you lovable pervert.”