No matter how much money someone has in America, it turns out you can’t buy a backbone.
There are the good billionaires, such as Warren Buffett, who pledged to give away 99 percent of his fortune and has already distributed tens of billions of dollars to charity. He and many other admirable benefactors have joined The Giving Pledge—a group that has committed to donating most of their wealth in their lifetimes or through their wills.
There’s also MacKenzie Scott, who has given around $19 billion to more than 2,000 organizations. Her philanthropy has been quiet, without the usual dick-swinging insistence on having statues erected or new buildings named in her honor.
Her ex-husband, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, has taken a very different path. I’m not just talking about his mega-yachts, his bizarre cowboy cosplay with indoor girl Lauren Sánchez, or his phallocentric space company, Blue Origin. I’m talking about his spineless surrender to the Trump administration.
Rather than using his wealth to amplify his voice or promote his values, he has chosen to kiss the ring of an aspiring dictator. Bezos prevented The Washington Post from endorsing Kamala Harris and later donated $1 million to Trump’s inauguration fund.
But Bezos isn’t the only billionaire to put his greed above his integrity: Mark Zuckerberg also donated $1 million and attended the inauguration with his tail between his legs. He apparently regretted kicking Trump off of Facebook during the violent January 6 Insurrection. Or maybe it was Trump’s threat of prison against the “ZUCKERBUCKS” on Truth Social that made him bend the knee. You’d think that having billions of dollars would protect you from the tweets of an unhinged sack of cinnamon pantyhose.
Then again, Zuck does have a MAGA-like hard-on for restoring the patriarchy. He went on Joe Rogan to bemoan the rise of “culturally neutered” companies that lack “masculine energy.” And nothing screams “I’m a VERY STRONG MAN!” like an anti-feminist dressed in a little black shirt and oversized chain.
You know what actually makes women ovulate, Zuck? Standing up to a liar and advocating for those more vulnerable than you are. A real man would opt to be a protector—not a tyrant’s little lap boy.
And the list doesn’t stop there: Salesforce’s Mark Benioff, OpenAI’s Sam Altman, Google’s Sundar Pichai, and many other CEOs have all wined and dined Trump’s thirsty ego.
So what gives? Are these billionaire sellouts all afraid of Donald Trump? Are they fellating his baby carrot to avoid retaliation against their companies or seeking special treatment? Is it only male CEOs because women have the good sense not to support a convicted rapist?
The only billionaire who really seems to buy what Trump’s selling has lost his mind—the ketamine-addicted, chainsaw-wielding, Nazi-saluting DOGE daddy himself, Elon Musk. Of course he’s gutting agencies with pending investigations against his companies, such as the DOL, CFPB, USAID, DOT, SEC, EPA, and more. In the Art of the Self-Deal, the world’s richest man bought himself a shield from American legal accountability for around $288 million. What a steal! He may be an awkward sociopath, but he’s not stupid.
If the billionaire sellouts want to play dirty to protect their companies and fortunes, fine.
But here’s the thing, boys: once rural conservatives realize that they’re getting hosed financially by the GOP and progressives stop being so insufferable, these two groups will see that they have more in common than they thought.
Our enemies aren’t on the Left or the Right—they’re up. The cutthroat billionaires love it when we argue about trans women in sports, immigration, abortion, banned books, school prayer, and critical race theory. It keeps us from blaming the real culprits behind our stalled social mobility.
It’s not gender, race, or religion that’s keeping us down—it’s the corrupt rich. The Trump administration, Project 2025, and DOGE are feeding this fire of outrage more quickly than most of us had imagined. The current tension between the American haves and have-nots cuts like a guillotine.
With so many of the country’s beloved institutions on the chopping block—the National Parks Service, Medicare, etc.—the people hoarding the nation’s wealth may find themselves at the wrong end of some sharpened pitchforks.
Perfect.
100%!