Ingredients:
- Failure
- Heartache
- Criticism
- Self-loathing
- Alienation
- Loneliness
- Blood
- Sweat
- Tears
Instructions:
You must suck and suck and suck and suck, until you don’t suck anymore.
(Adapted from friend Joe Kyle Jr.)

Given the choice between two theories, always opt for the funnier one.
Ingredients:
Instructions:
You must suck and suck and suck and suck, until you don’t suck anymore.
(Adapted from friend Joe Kyle Jr.)