You’ve gotta admire the enthusiasm of the man who’s always one bongload away from a breakthrough.
10
“Ah coconut milk… yes, right this way! We have ‘Theppadungporn Coconut Co.’, or our xenophobe-friendly brand, ‘A Taste of Thailand.'”
9
Does it seem strange that some Kings need to fly out of their own countries to receive adequate medical care?
8
Got dinged at work for having a personality leak. Take me to the drone shop for a tune-down, please. Many thanks.
7
Sometimes you just can’t find a better drunken companion than a microphone stand.
6
Did the Republicans really call it the “Repealing the Job-Killing Healthcare Act Law”? This is too stupid to insult.
5
Bibliophilic SF citizen once again out-Portlands Portland: ” My perfect apartment has no walls, man. Just tall stacks of rare first editions and McSweeney’s.”
4
Drug use is just dress up for adults.
3
Who creates the adorable acronyms for legislation? The RAVE act to thwart venues where drugs are commonly sold? The CALM law against the ear-piercing volume of commercials? I’ve got one: I propose the RAMEN Act, Resolution Against Making Education Non-affordable.
Scary Perry
Governor Rick Perry claims that his proposed mandatory STD vaccinations for 12-year-old girls weren’t influenced by his ties to Merck, a pharmaceutical company that donated $30,000 to his campaign. What people don’t know, however, is that at that time, his former chief of staff was working as a lobbyist for Merck. Coincidence? Psh. And plus, since when is a dude who refuses to support teaching kids about condoms concerned about sexual health? Google damn him.