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Posted on September 26, 2011July 4, 2012

24

San Francisco: so anti-scene, it’s scene.

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

23

Would the Pope have condoned an abortion for Marjorie Cheney if it had brought about world peace?

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

22

“Like” is the putty that fills the cracks of the intellect.

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

21

Sure, “love is blind”, but that doesn’t mean that it also has to be deaf and dumb.

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

20

memoir (n.): a rubber pacifier for self-stated “linguists” that blindly shoots blanks at yesterday’s dreams.

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

19

A man was arrested for ejaculating during a pat-down at San Francisco Airport. All bets are off, people.

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Posted on September 26, 2011July 4, 2012

18

Take it from Chex: if you have a shitty product, invent an American tradition.

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Posted on September 26, 2011September 26, 2011

17

“Bob’s Natural Pet Food”? Listen, Bob… there’s no reason to make a hippie business out of it. Christ, just give Rex a fat steak.

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Posted on September 26, 2011July 4, 2012

16

Pringles nailed it. Why are hyperbolic paraboloids so magically delicious?

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Posted on September 26, 2011July 4, 2012

15

Does anyone else feel that an orange Lamborghini with its doors open looks like it’s flipping us the double-bird?

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