I wonder if you can have cannabis prescribed for an ailing imagination.
90
Like every good, self-respecting liberal, I know where to pin the blame for all of the earthquakes: George Bush. Obviously.
89
Why is it such a disturbingly curious sight when a hot guy has an unfortunate-looking girlfriend, but not the converse? The Mona Bushpigs of the world can’t get no love, but nobody bats an eye when grandpa or the fat dude rolls in with a sexpot.
88
Winferiority Complex (n.): waiting patiently for my 2004 Dell to crap out so I can join the Applelitists and not feel like such a pariah at the cafe.
87
If you embrace the notion that we’re all just bumbling bags of intestines, things tend to be a lot less complicated.
86
Like Mama said, you’ll go blind if you stroke that thing too hard. It looks painfully swollen. You should really have that ego checked out.
85
Why do stupid people overuse the word “literally” as a discourse marker?
84
Does anyone ever worry how the annals of our scandalous Facebook photos will empower our future children?
83
Clearly I don’t speak East Coast-ese. I just referred to the “bodega” as the “bordello”. Meh. Same difference in this part of town anyway.
82
I wish that Obama, in his statement today, had pronounced the rebel-controlled Libyan towns in perfect Arabic to screw with the birthers.
