Some insults roast themselves to a perfect golden brown.
117
Climatologist (noun): a physically attractive person, male or female, with masterful pointing skills.
116
California is the most hated state in the US. I wonder if it has anything to do with all of our smug status updates and Facebook pictures of “winter”.
115
I imagine that Jesus, Zeus, Brahma, Allah and Joseph Smith are up there having a good chuckle over the Republican primary.
114
My workout secret? I stay chronically unpunctual.
113
To the Andreas of the World: we WILL butcher your name. It’s not our fault that you could be AN-dree-a, ON-dree-a, An-DRAY-a, On-DRAY-a, An-DREE-a…
112
Oh, brunch: my weekend reminder that the tongue’s G-spot is covered in bacon receptors.
111
I believe that some people essentially try to sound intelligent by literally overusing the words “essentially” and “literally”.
110
If squares were the dorky shapes, who were the popular shapes? Which shapes made cheerleading squad, joined debate team or won CIF championships?
109
We can tell the kids “Crack is Whack” or “Do Dope, Lose Hope”, but what about Adderall, Vicodin, or Xanax? Good luck deriding those in rhyme. Clever pharma companies.
