Masters speak through their timeless works, but instead of touching them, you can only fondle their creatures.
27
Show me someone who doesn’t pee in the shower and I’ll show you someone who wastes water.
26
She looks like she got supremely dressed up about 36 hours ago.
25
I’ve never been attracted to Bruce Willis. He looks like he smells of cheeseburgers.
24
San Francisco: so anti-scene, it’s scene.
23
Would the Pope have condoned an abortion for Marjorie Cheney if it had brought about world peace?
22
“Like” is the putty that fills the cracks of the intellect.
21
Sure, “love is blind”, but that doesn’t mean that it also has to be deaf and dumb.
20
memoir (n.): a rubber pacifier for self-stated “linguists” that blindly shoots blanks at yesterday’s dreams.
19
A man was arrested for ejaculating during a pat-down at San Francisco Airport. All bets are off, people.