Not to sound like a Twat, but the punctuation of Twinglish is appalling. #Twitter
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Let’s have a moment of silence for the political career of Rich Whitney, the Green Party gubernatorial candidate in Illinois whose name was misspelled “Rich Whitey” in 23 wards on the voting machines.
46
Sh*t My Granny Says: “It is good to know that the [film] industry is still capable of making a movie that doesn’t have a bunch of car crashes, robots or animated whatsits in it.”
45
An acquaintance with poor taste just berated my writing and my hair turned quite gold from grief.
44
My advice to you Broadway Spiderman producers: suck with ALL your heart. Hire some drunken improv actors and spin a cult classic.
43
Heartrending tale of abject poverty: a measly $1.05 billion in profit, only double what they made last year. How will Goldman Sachs employees feed their families? I’d like to announce my new non-profit, the Banking Assistance and Relief Fund (BARF). Your contribution will help us combat destitution on Wall Street and banish impunity wherever these violations occur. Thank you.
42
U.S. Department of Treasury has announced that if James Franco scribbles on a cocktail napkin, it passes as legal tender.
41
Are you married yet? Or have you been a bad, little Mormon?
40
Try Axe’s new fragrance, “Rims”. It calls to mind the open air of a freeway overpass with soft notes of cilantro and Steel Reserve.
39
Quote of the morning: “Honey, you can’t get upset when people bump into you when you insist on walking around in that giant headdress.”
