75

Let’s have a moment of silence for the political career of Rich Whitney, the Green Party gubernatorial candidate in Illinois whose name was misspelled “Rich Whitey” in 23 wards on the voting machines.

72

I’m at the liquor store and I forget my ID. I pull out my work badge for substance abuse counseling and say, “Now what kind of substance abuse counselor would I be if I hadn’t experimented with a couple of my own? Trust me. I’M OF AGE.”