Bush’s deficit could beat up Obama’s pussy deficit any day.
58
Oh, Facebook… that’s somebody’s daughter.
57
She defriended me. Beset by inconsolable grief and with no other recourse, I did what any reasonable person would do: I poked the shit out of her.
56
When I grow up, I want to be a vertical supply curve.
55
Too much caffeine this morning and I’m a little shaky. At least it will enhance my tooth-brushing abilities.
54
To the woman who always ignores my questions: you have skin like a moldy ginger root. A lumpy potato at best. That is all.
53
If I elect to change jobs, can I use the “lame duck” defense so I can get paid to do nothing for a couple months?
52
Hillary Clinton denying all WikiLeak reports that she called the Syrian president a “big poopy face”.
51
If somebody writes a touching memoir about being marooned on the broken-down Carnival cruise ship, we’ve reached an impressive new low in humanity.
50
Voters in Sao Paulo, Brazil’s largest state, just elected an illiterate clown to Congress. He ran on the platform, “It can’t get any worse.” With gems like these, who needs fiction for entertainment anymore?