Given the choice between two theories, always opt for the funnier one.
The real winner of the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act: Mitt Romney. Thank you Mitt for fathering healthcare reform in Massachusetts. Your chief adviser, MIT economist Jonathan Gruber, was the architect of both Romneycare and Obamacare. Without your tireless efforts to secure affordable healthcare for your state (not to mention the individual mandate), this ruling wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you.
San Francisco Man whose start-up is the “next big thing” = Prettiest Girl from Small Town, Louisiana who migrated to Hollywood in the 1920s.
I don’t watch Sesame Street. I already know all of that shit anyway.
I can’t imagine why the incidence of ADHD has skyrocketed over the years! Oh, by the way, have you met my friend the Internet?
Nothing quite says, “I’m a bachelor” like carrying home a 25 lb. bag of kitty litter and a fifth of coal-filtered vodka. And yes: that is Danzig wearing a Danzig shirt.
Internet (noun): a diversion that continually diverts you from diversion by diversion.
Wait a second… a lot of liberals are upset that Bay Area’s Mt. Diablo might be changed to Mt. Reagan. To them, isn’t “Diablo” just Spanish for Reagan anyway?
Not only is the story of the X-Men an allegory for marginalized social groups, but many of the characters are named after SAT words. Your move, Sponge Bob.
What is practical about “practical jokes”? They’re utterly impractical. Maybe that’s the meta-joke.
Some insults roast themselves to a perfect golden brown.
