* On Community Organizer, Constitutional Law Professor and Author, President Barack Obama: “There’s always something suspect about an intellectual on the winning side.” (Vaclav Havel)
* On Bu$ine$$ $uper$tar, Mitt Romney: “How can wealth persuade poverty to use its political freedom to keep wealth in power?” (Aneurin Bevan)
* On Legendary Gaffe Artist, Joe Biden: “Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars.” (Gustave Flaubert)
* On Personal Responsibility Enthusiast, Paul Ryan: “A maximum of comfort is necessary for the practice of virtue. Poverty is earned and deserved.” (Adaptation of Patrice Lumumba)
* On Political Promises: “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy.” (George Carlin)
* On Political Scandals: “To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight in the blood.” (George Santayana)
* On Political Outcomes: “Before enlightenment—chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment—chop wood, carry water.” (Zen proverb)
* On Bill Murray: “You may never get to touch the Master, but you can tickle his creatures.” (Thomas Pynchon)