Author: Jocelyn

Couples on their cell phones during dates: the adulthood version of what psychologists call “parallel play”. Rather than jointly participating in an activity, less mature kids play separate games side-by-side.

Without unending obstacles and thorny conflicts, this sick circus would be pitifully unremarkable.

California Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman states that giving her Democratic opponent any control over California fund allocation is like “giving Count Dracula keys to the bloodbank”. But vampires are so hot right now, rich lady.

To the poets: you’re only doing yourself a disservice if people need to consult the dictionary more than twice while enjoying your work. Much obliged.

Isn’t it strange that people peddling the anti-abortion “sanctity of life” argument tend to support capital punishment?

Is anyone else disappointed that they didn’t properly learn about JFK’s womanizing when they were in elementary school? Or that Reagan’s team had stolen Carter’s debriefing book during the 1980 debates?

First it arrives on your doorstep, bringing with it an archive of developments from the past 24 hours. And then it’s used to wrap fish. To swat at flies. To give house pets the privilege of relieving themselves indoors.

To the aerosol junkies who tag public property: only animals mark their territory. Throwing up your ugly script doesn’t make you Banksy so knock it off.

For the movers and shakers out there: learn the art of the sweeping arrogant gesture, the complete disregard of the opposition. Sadly, the quality of ideas has almost no bearing on shifts in public opinion.

The most crippling impediment to success is having no impediments at all.